Jewish Wedding Rituals
Explanation of Jewish Traditions #1
Officiant:
Today, along with the wedding of these two people, there is a marriage of two religions taking place.
Two religions, one God.
Bride and Groom have included some Jewish traditions in their ceremony.
I will explain what the symbols and traditions mean, so we can all understand and appreciate the sentiment that is being invoked here.
Bride’s grandfather, , will co-officiate this part of the ceremony with me.
The first symbol we see today is the chuppah. It is referred to as the wedding canopy.
The chuppah symbolizes the framework of the home, whose poles are supported by the friends and family who stood by the Couple during their childhood and are now standing by in loving support of their marriage union.
The openness of the chuppah pledges that there shall be no secrets, and serves to remind the Couple of the importance of openness to one’s partner and to God’s centrality in the relationship.
The chuppah’s flimsiness reminds the Couple that the only thing that is sturdy about a home is the people in it who love each other and choose to be together, to be a family. The only anchor that they will have will be holding onto each other’s hands.
As guests today, we are here not only to rejoice and honor Bride and Groom, but also to provide a sustaining community for them.
We give Bride and Groom the outlines or sketch of a foundation, but it is up to them to determine where they want to go and what they want their life together to be. For this the Jews say “Mazel tov!” which means “Good luck!”
The breaking of the glass at the end of the ceremony is the most recognizable symbol of a Jewish wedding. It has numerous symbolic undertones.
One is that, in celebration,there should always be awe and trembling as well.
The breaking of the glass is an expression of hope for a future free of all violence.
The fragility of the glass suggests the frailty of human relationships.
Even the strongest love is subject to disintegration. In this context, the glass is broken to “protect” the marriage with an implied prayer, “As this glass shatters,so may the marriage never break.” The shattered glass also serves us all as a reminder that the world is replete with imperfection and thus serves as an imperative to us to partake in the mending of the world.
The breaking of the glass symbolizes the end of the ceremony, just after The Kiss.
At that time I ask you to join me in calling out “Mazel tov!” or “Congratulations!”
The prevailing sentiment provided by all the symbols I’ve talked aboutis really a message about human beings and not religious beings.
Moving out of the sphere of Jewish symbols and non-Jewish symbols, as human beings we need community for strength, past traditions to provide a road map for how to behave now, and love to build a future.
Take the symbols of this love, Bride and Groom, and indulge in the moment and your future.
Mazel tov!
(Note: At the end of the ceremony, the glass is placed on the ground in front of the Groom, who stomps on it to break it and then kisses the Bride. It is common practice to have a lightbulb prewrapped in a napkin on the table, which is used in place of a glass for the actual “breaking of the glass.” This is done because it is easier to break a lightbulb and it makes a festive popping sound.)
Blessing and Drinking the Wine
The ritual of drinking wine can be placed before the exchange of Wedding Vows with a Co-Officiant saying the prayers in Hebrew, followed by the Officiant echoing them in English, line by line.
Blessing and Drinking the Wine #1
Officiant:
Common to the Jewish wedding ceremony is to ask God to bless the wedding.
A common prayer used is called Mi Adir:
Co-Officiant: Officiant:
Mi Adir el hakol Splendor is upon everything
Mi Baruch el hakol Blessing is upon everything
Mi Gadol el hakol Who is full of this abundance
Hey’ varesh h’hatan v’kallah Bless this Groom and Bride
(At this point the Co-Officiant raises the wine glass.)
Officiant:
The symbol of drinking the wine is associated with celebrations, festivals, and simcha (which means joy).
Without wine there would be no blessing.
The act of drinking the wine is referred to as kiddush, and is part of virtually all Jewish observance as a prayer of sanctification.
(At this point the wine is handed to the Groom.)
*At this time I ask Bride and Groom to share this wine as Co-Officiant bestows the blessing upon them.
Co-Officiant: Officiant:
Baruch Ata Adonai Holy One of the blessing
Eloheyne Melech Ha-olam, Your presence fills creation,
borey p’ree ha-gaffen. forming the fruit of the vine.
Amen. Amen.
(At this point the Co-Officiant sits down.)
*Alternative prayer for the drinking of the wine.
Blessing and Drinking the Wine #1a
Officiant:
As you share this wine from a single cup, so may you, under God’s guidance,share contentment, peace, and fulfillment from the cup of life.
May you find life’s joys heightened, its bitterness sweetened, and each of its moments hallowed by true companionship and love.
Blessed are you, Lord, our God, King of the universe,who creates the fruit of the vine.
The Seven Blessings
Some couples like to include the reading of the seven blessings as part of the Final Blessing after the Ring Exchange. They can be read by one person or assigned to seven guests who rise in their places in turn to read them. This reading is a wonderful way to create participation among more of your guests.
Seven Blessings #1
- Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine.
- Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, Ruler of the universe,Creator of all things to thy glory.
- Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, Ruler of the universe,Creator of man and woman.
- Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, Ruler of the universe,who creates us to share with You in life’s everlasting renewal.
- Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, Ruler of the universe,who causes Zion to rejoice in her children.
- Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who causes the Bride and Bridegroom to rejoice.
- Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of joy and gladness, Bride and Groom, love and kinship, peace and friendship.
May there always be heard in the cities of Israel and in the streets of Jerusalem:the sounds of joy and of happiness, the voice of the Groom and the voice of the Bride,the shouts of young people celebrating, and the songs of children at play.
Blessed art thou, O Lord, who causes the Bride and Groom to rejoice together.
Prayers from the Old Testament
Another Jewish tradition is the inclusion of prayers from the Old Testament. The following selection, for example, can be included as part of the Final Blessing (again involving the Co-Officiant). These readings include one of seven special prayers for the wed- ding couple, a prayer for special occasions, and a blessing.
Prayers from the Old Testament #1
Grant perfect joy to these loving companions, as you did to the first man and woman in the Garden of Eden. Praised are you, O Lord, who grants the joy of Bride and Groom.
Blessed is the Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, for giving us life, for sustaining us,and for enabling us to reach this day of joy.
This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord look kindly upon you and be gracious to you;the Lord bestow favor upon you and give you peace.
Amen.
Crowning Ceremony #1
Officiant:
In the Greek Orthodox tradition, the blessing and exchange of crowns is an essential element of the wedding ceremony.
Just as monarchs are crowned and charged with the welfare of their realm, so are the Bride and Groom crowned and vested with the authority and responsibility to care for one another’s well-being.
Symbolically, each marriage is a kingdom unto itself, which can lead the couple to God’s Heavenly Kingdom by living with forbearance, compassion, righteousness, respect, and loving.
The crowns are traditionally kept in the home to remind the couple of their responsibility and commitment to live by good Christian values in their marriage kingdom. Let us pray.
Beloved God, we ask that you extend to this Groom and this Bride the same blessing you extended to Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Moses and Zipporah, Joakim and Anna, and Zacharias and Elizabeth.
We ask your blessing for Groom and Bride’s parents, who nourished them and for all of their family and friends who surround them with their love.
Beloved God, we ask that you bless Groom and Bride, that they may perpetuate the lineage of your love.
We ask that through the grace of the Holy Spirit, who Groom and Bride are,where they come from, their likes, dislikes, skills, talents, and characteristics will all be brought into a harmonized oneness whereby the two become one flesh.
May these crowns serve to remind them to bring your kingdom here to earth in their marriage.
(The Officiant places a crown on the Groom’s head.)
As a servant of God, I crown you Groom to Bride in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
(The Officiant places a crown on Bride’s head.)
As a servant of God, I crown you Bride to Groom in the Name of the Father and of the Son of the Holy Spirit.
(The Couple’s sponsor exchanges the crowns three times, moving them back and forth over the Groom’s and Bride’s heads while the Officiant repeats the following statement three times.)
O Lord our God, crown Groom and Bride with honor and with glory.
This ritual is usually followed by a recitation of the Lord’s Prayer and then the sharing of the Common Cup.
(As the Officiant speaks, the Groom and Bride each take three sips of wine.)
Common Cup #1
Officiant:
Groom and Bride, as you drink from this common cup of wine, you drink from the cup of life as husband and wife.
From this day forward you will share life’s bitterness with its sweetness, its disappointment with its happiness, and its tribulation with its joy.
From this moment forward you will share everything, doubling your joysand dividing your sorrows.
The Polish Ritual of Symbolic Gifts
A Polish wedding tradition involves the parents of the Bride and Groom giving the Couple symbolic gifts. It is traditionally done during the wedding reception, but can also be incorporated in the ceremony as described in the following text.
Symbolic Gifts #1
Officiant:
Bride’s and Groom’s parents are going to join us now for a cherished Polish tradition, which has been passed down through the centuries.
It involves the symbolic sharing of bread, salt, wine, and a silver coin.
As their parents give Bride and Groom each a piece of bread, we wish: “May you never go hungry or be in need.”
As they are given a sip of wine, we wish: “Enjoy the sweetness of life with good health, good cheer, and the company of good friends.”
As they each place a speck of salt on their tongue we wish: “May you overcome the bitterness of life.”
As they are given a silver coin to hold between their right hands together, we wish: “May you be wealthy and abundant.”
Finally, Bride’s and Groom’s parents kiss them as a welcome to the family and as a sign of their love and unity.
(Parents return to their seats.)
The Wrapping of the Mantilla
In Spain, the Couple is wrapped in a large scarf, or mantilla, by their parents.
Mantilla #1
Officiant:
The wrapping of the mantilla around the Bride and Groom by their parents is the traditional Spanish symbol of two families uniting as one in the love shared by their children.
Today, we are witnessing a beautiful expression of commitment, unity, and dreams coming true as Bride and Groom become wife and husband.
At this time, I ask Bride’s parents and Groom’s parents to place the mantilla around their children in what is hoped will be the first of many traditions that will hold this newly formed family as one loving unit for generations to come.
(The parents wrap the mantilla around the Couple for a few moments and then the mothers fold it and the Bride’s mother takes it with her to her seat.)
Ceremonies With Hallie 